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What was the question again?
Jan. 7th, 2006 08:16 pmI've seen posts here and there lately (and I think there might be an active quarrel that I'm blithely ignoring) regarding this question. I don't think I want to get into my thoughts on feedback at the moment -- besides, I think this comes up with feedback but also in wider contexts -- but I've seen the basic question cast something like this...
"Is it better to be nice and dishonest, or mean and honest?"
Nice and dishonest response: Oh, whatever you want to do is fine.
Mean and honest response: What a dumb question. Go away.
Mean and dishonest (not to mention a little paranoid) response: No, you idiot! You're a horrible person and you're trying to ruin my fandom experience. I hate you all.
Nice and honest response: This strikes me as the wrong question.
Sure, there are people I'd like to tell off, and I've had my own frustrations with situations both in fandom and in real life (and probably caused my share as well). I'm aware that definitions differ, that some people will cry "Mean!" at negligible provocation while others sneer that if you don't say anything negative about their story, you're lying, lazy, and useless.
If this is really the choice you find yourself faced with most of the time, however, I would venture to suggest considering a change to either your circumstances or your attitude. If it's a real-life situation, a change of circumstances may not be feasible and I wouldn't ask you to change your beliefs on an important issue merely for the sake of harmony, but you might consider whether "mean" is really what you're after. If it's a hobby, though... okay, you might not want to withdraw, but seriously -- why exactly are you doing something for fun where your honest reaction is usually negative?
If you get your kicks by kicking people, I suppose you've answered the question to your own satisfaction, but if you expect to be fawned over as well then I think you are asking too much.
You'll probably get it, though.
"Is it better to be nice and dishonest, or mean and honest?"
Nice and dishonest response: Oh, whatever you want to do is fine.
Mean and honest response: What a dumb question. Go away.
Mean and dishonest (not to mention a little paranoid) response: No, you idiot! You're a horrible person and you're trying to ruin my fandom experience. I hate you all.
Nice and honest response: This strikes me as the wrong question.
Sure, there are people I'd like to tell off, and I've had my own frustrations with situations both in fandom and in real life (and probably caused my share as well). I'm aware that definitions differ, that some people will cry "Mean!" at negligible provocation while others sneer that if you don't say anything negative about their story, you're lying, lazy, and useless.
If this is really the choice you find yourself faced with most of the time, however, I would venture to suggest considering a change to either your circumstances or your attitude. If it's a real-life situation, a change of circumstances may not be feasible and I wouldn't ask you to change your beliefs on an important issue merely for the sake of harmony, but you might consider whether "mean" is really what you're after. If it's a hobby, though... okay, you might not want to withdraw, but seriously -- why exactly are you doing something for fun where your honest reaction is usually negative?
If you get your kicks by kicking people, I suppose you've answered the question to your own satisfaction, but if you expect to be fawned over as well then I think you are asking too much.
You'll probably get it, though.
